he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
3 2 1 whiskey
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
