I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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