I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
