You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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