wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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