So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i think my cat just said my name.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
