i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
