I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
