Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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