Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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