there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
