apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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