So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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