if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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