A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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