Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
