Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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