Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
