woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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