I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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