I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
false alarm, still single
Randomize
