I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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