and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
