Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
