oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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