they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
