Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
