come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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