My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
