Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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