I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
