I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
