I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
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