When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
