Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
