I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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