also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
