Your face is a jimmy john
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I need to calm my uterus...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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