Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
