did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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