he shaved USA in his pubs
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
