he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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