Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
