i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
