and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize