Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
