im holly from the hills drunk
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
