We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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