so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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