Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
