He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
