i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
