He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
