Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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