nut hugger
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
