I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
