GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
