Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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