Screwed.edu
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
