oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
