how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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